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Dude, Bail? I think bail………..bail. Yep, bail.

June 3, 2013 - Author: Ordinary Girl

Dear Spoiled-Ass Teenage Jerk-off:

You thought “you could come and go as you please” because you interpreted us saying we would treat you like an adult when you turned 18 to mean free license to act a fool. Let me translate a few things for you.

Having freedom to choose when and where you go is totally different than having 100% freedom to come and go as you please. You cannot come home at 3-4 am or whenever, simply because, no matter how you now choose to live your life, we have business to handle. We are still going to work, paying bills and taking care of younger kids. We cannot be woken at any time of the middle of the night you decide to stroll in because we have to actually sleep and be responsible. Remember the dogs will bark their asses off and so there is no coming in silently, not to mention we hear the vehicles. It is part of respecting whatever household you are in. Trust me, if you worked a third shift job and people were louder than hell when you were trying to sleep you would be the FIRST to lose your mind and temper. It also doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t at least ball park the who, what, when and where so that if something happens, we know how to get a hold of you and when-ish to expect you in case, God forbid, you were in an accident. It has happened before and it almost killed you and Alex so why the hell would you turning one year older change us worrying about your safety? You say you will be home or we expect you and then you don’t show – we worry. Oh my God we are TERRIBLE parents. Get a fucking grip.you.big.baby! And to top it off, you expect us to tell you every single detail of our lives and reasoning but feel like you shouldn’t have to tell us anything.

Paying for your own car insurance and gas is not special, it is NORMAL. You are not helping out the family by doing this. You are preventing YOUR issue from becoming ours by handling it, and let me remind you we carried your ass for a LONG time when you couldn’t get it together AND paid for your gas; now you are merely handling what you should have been doing since 16. You are 3 years late and much too ungrateful.

You treat the house like it is the college buffet. There is nothing wrong with you wiping out 6 pieces of fish or 8 eggs in the morning (in one sitting) for example and then you ask us how dare we hint you should have been helping out with a bill or the food since you were working. If you HAD been doing these things, you might have a legitimate argument, but you weren’t even close, you want to blow all your money on BS with your friends. And accuse your dad of mistreating you to ask you this at the age of 19. Like it was the same as his parents making him pay for his own room as the oldest since he was 15.

You can say you were gonna all you want and the fact is that in life, actions will always speak louder than words. Not ONCE have we been able to go out to dinner or on a date. Not even once in a blue moon because your fun is top priority. Not once did you offer to help your dad by doing things you know needed to be done. Nope, you would add to his list by breaking shit then never even attempting to fix them, let alone pay for them. You did not want to handle your ONE chore in this house – and couldn’t even change a bathroom trash can, you were not around to take care of your dog – she was never walked, had to beg you to go out, even peed on your bed because you barely bothered. You refused to help out any extra and bitched about the little you did, didn’t bother with your father’s birthday or Father’s Day ever unless I reminded you, let alone care about holidays or birthdays for anyone but yourself. This is not being a loving, good son; no matter how smart ass you say it to your dad.

You were not the babysitter, you have been asked ONCE recently and that was to make a trip out to Nashville to see the specialist, and all you had to do was get them off the bus and feed them and put them to bed. OMG so fucking hard. You are so put upon. You aren’t a man, you aren’t even close. A real man cares about his family, a real man pulls his share and more if someone can’t, a real man thinks about someone other than himself, a real man admits his mistakes and seeks to better himself. You are a wanna-be, nothing more. You know it and most people know it. You would be surprised how many people have stopped me since hearing what you did to say how stupid you are and what an asshole you act like when you aren’t here. I sure hope someone knocks that chip off your shoulder soon or you are in a world of trouble. That anger you hoard is gonna spill over and it is going to be ugly.

You have literally been out nearly every night with your buddies this semester. You had all the freedom you could desire and the support both financial and emotional you could have desired. Good luck on your own out there. The world is gonna take a bite out of you. You are too stubborn and arrogant to last long without it happening.

Oh and your sick, fucked in the head accusations about Sable and us “doing something” to her just show me how disturbed you really are. Chaos is just fine and actually doing better now than he was before he got left.  Dad doesn’t want to see you or talk to you right now because he is so hurt and for that reason alone I can’t vouch for the reception you will get from me.

Sincerely,

Me.

P.S. Fuck you. Karma will be there soon.

I said it

Sorry friends, this too shall pass. Stay safe and be blessed. I pray that your families are at peace and that ours will find peace soon.

 

Comments are closed - Categories: Did I Really Say That Out Loud?, Last Word Letters

For All the Haters….

March 21, 2013 - Author: Ordinary Girl

all the shit you put me thruI love how people take a honestly reflective blog and try to beat someone with it. Problem is, if I’m putting it out here, it isn’t anything that is able to be used against me as a weapon. I’m not stupid folks, and if you think that by me admitting I was wrong or weakness here means I’ve failed or some such nonsense, you are once again mistaken. I am stronger for the things I learn. If you never fall, you never grow. The last several years have been full of lies and manipulations yes, but they have been so happy too. Self-pity, for those who don’t know, involves someone living a warped version of the truth because they are unwilling to admit the kinds of things I do here. The emotions that run us are only powerful if they were to remain unspoken and left to be sulked about. Instead I take it, put it here and let it go. I’ve helped a LOT of people over the years both here and other places. If you don’t like it or want to judge then you are absolutely free to do so.

If you cannot see the swings up and down then it is YOU I pity. Because to truly have a family means going through the good and the bad with them. And to say that there is never any bad would be a damn lie if anyone said it. You can have a regular family, a single parent family or a blended family – it doesn’t matter. I don’t attack, I put out the truth; good, bad, mine and theirs. They each know and have always known about this blog. If you haven’t realized that it hangs off our personally owned website, well then you know now. Keep reading, keep hating because you are a mere ripple on the outside edges of my life and matter very little.

We will cull those that keep trying to drag us down and destroy our marriage and family – you are no longer welcome here. In fact each and every person verbally severed familial ties after this last debacle. You crushed the last hope D had that you had grown up and were willing to admit your part in this story. Like the $5K you blew at Cumberlands and ran off to AZ and the Army instead. We haven’t demanded payment in court like the rest of the crazy family likes to do, or maybe you would prefer we acted like them? Cuz if we are so bad and they are so good, we should copy their actions right?

It’s always hard to be the one standing trying to explain until suddenly you realize you could talk till you were blue in the face and yet the other person will just keep on believing their lie. And even more suddenly you realize that you don’t care, that lie has no power to affect you again. The truth will win out and I will keep on taking care of my family. You lose, you fail to affect us now or ever again. Have a nice life.

biggest mistake

P.S. there is NO fair in fight when it come down to it now. You have pushed way too far over the line. D wants you to know this!!

Sorry for the interruption my friends, until next time, stay safe and be blessed.

 

 

 

Comments are closed - Categories: Did I Really Say That Out Loud?

Holidays………Bah Humbug!!

December 23, 2011 - Author: Ordinary Girl

I'll be home for Christmas...........if only in my dreams

Holidays are always hard for me………..there! There is my deep dark confession of the day, I HATE the holidays and love them desperately at the same time. My heart yearns for the traditional perfect family holiday but reality is………life isn’t like that. This year is worse than usual, but I’m hiding it from most everyone because I need to make this holiday special for lots of reasons for the sake of others that I love more than life …..but the stress is getting to me, especially with other dark clouds that hang over our shoulders. They are important and hard to ignore but not what we should be consumed with before Christmas. Trying to make this one special. Extra so since my husbands twin boys are 17 this year and will graduate in May. One will be staying and going to college, the other has plans of his own that do not include hanging around the house for long.

It isn’t as if I have some unrealistic expectations of those around me, quite the contrary. I accept that they are not able to give me whatever silly little fantasy I might think I want, and by worrying about something so insignificant, I am missing out on enjoying what we do have and can share together. So far I am enjoying myself immensely. My husband and I made a run to get the tree ourselves from our local tree farm. We went shopping for most all of the food for Christmas dinner and for over the kids’ school break. Yesterday we were able to finish up buying everything for his boys and the stockings.

While we shopped yesterday the boys and a friend of theirs put the lights up on the tree and we will decorate it later today. Then we will be able to tuck it back out of the way and put some presents out. This year we have to do some fancy packing to fool the boys who say it is too easy to guess their gifts – LOL.

The heartbreak for me today, came when I got confirmation that some Grinch has stolen my package right off my front porch. My son’s Christmas gift which is 38″ BLACK Acoustic Guitar Starter Package (Guitar, Gig Bag, Strap, Pick, eBook) plus my step-son’s girlfriend was going to start his lessons over break – she wants to be a music teacher and a student on her resume couldn’t hurt ;p. He will not receive the replacement until Wednesday after Christmas. Amazon refunded our money and had me reorder it then went in behind me and changed it to one day. Well no one delivers on the weekends anymore and Monday is a holiday so there ya go; Wednesday. And my daughter can’t use her present till then either because the battery we replaced, that got stolen from her DS i, will not be here till after either *sigh* I suppose I should be grateful that they are having Christmas after all with such a bleak outlook as things were a week ago.

So what you ask is my ideal Christmas? Well parts of it I have. A stroll through the Christmas tree farm with my family/husband to choose a tree – most every year. Decorating it together.Choosing gifts for those we love, wrapping them after the kids go to bed. Setting up everything for the morning chaos. Cooking fabulous food to share and the yummy leftovers. Long EQ games with him and his boys. Movies and sometimes video games.

I want to FEEL it. Hot cocoa, lights around the fireplace, a fire, playing board games and/or cards together, waiting for Santa, music, food, stockings hung. Stringing popcorn for the tree. Caroling. Just being together with the spirit of the season – not going to separate corners of the house. These loving memories that usually draw a family together are lacking the depth of emotion that this blended family just doesn’t seem to hold, hard as I wish or try. We are estranged from our respective families as well and his kids don’t really have anyone that cares enough to send them gifts from their family. My kids have my mother and my ex’s parents as well, who are very good to them. Their Tante Kate is sending a special gift as well this year. I will be honest, it understandably causes some tension.

I miss sharing these moments with my sisters and my nieces and nephews and it hurts the worst at these special holidays. I miss friends and the ability to go visit and spend holidays with them. I’ve always wanted to be able to have big holidays where friends and family came to spend it here. I read the updates and I get so envious of all those whose lives are full of these things. (Though I wouldn’t change my life – ya know what I mean) I feel lonely and rootless this time of year. I know it is stupid, and I know there are many who are worse off, who am I to hold a pathetic pity party? I am human though, and compassionate enough to not ruin it for everyone else around me. Though I admit my mood could use a tune-up.

I know my kids miss that same intangible thing I do, they can’t describe it, but I’ve seen the look in their eyes. They just want to have that magical holiday feeling too. It is hard to light it and keep it alive for them when I struggle to feel it for myself. I just want to capture that magic for us all……

Magic of Christmas

 

Comments are closed - Categories: Did I Really Say That Out Loud?, Emotions

Um, I missed this chapter in Parenting 101

September 3, 2011 - Author: Ordinary Girl

Oh Lordy, you can’t make this shit up!! I swear to you.It was a ‘no shit, there I was’ kind of moment.

I admit to being a complete and utter germaphobe when it comes to public bathrooms. Among the worst rank bars, airports, gas stations and stadium bathrooms.

please let there be covers.....

Last night was our first ‘real’ home game and it just so happened we were playing our old rivals the Chargers. They have had a terrible run (13 losses in a row) and last nights astounding win by our Wildcats 46-14 was worth what we went through to see it occur. In the first three minutes of the game we scored 14 points in 7 plays unopposed. And then it happened. Huge bolts of air to ground lightning and the TSSAA rules had both teams scurrying for the locker rooms. A lot of fans headed under the bleachers and a friendly neighbor lent my husband and I a small umbrella to use. Contrary to my weather channel app on my BB – durn thing lied, it was supposed to pass quickly and looked relatively small. We got poured on for an hour and fifteen minutes. There was no helping it. If you stuck it out, you got soaked. My right side as well as (thanks to the runoff) my rear end were soaked. I thought I’d be smart and wear these comfy cotton pants and rolled the cuffs up to wear with the red Wildcat shirts. Pain is temporary – Pride is forever!! Wildcat Pride 🙂

After things finally started to clear up, and the required time had passed both teams came back out to start playing. Nope, they don’t call the game for anything – other than lightning breaks lol. Our boys are born mudders though. They remained unchallenged until the coach sent in the JV. He believe in giving them the experience verses ramming an obvious slaughter down the other team’s throats. That’s just how we roll here.

Finally fed up with just not ‘feeling it’ I slogged my way to the bathrooms with Alex in tow. Now come on ladies, let me hear ya! What is the first thing we do? Yep, cover the toilet with the toilet paper barrier or put down the seat covers provided (if you’re lucky). So Alex goes first and has a smidge of trouble with the tp sticking since she was kinda wet. We use the handicapped stall since she still doesn’t feel comfortable going herself in extremely public places..I helped her get situated and it wasn’t but a small blip of trouble.

So my turn, again the tp ring and I peel off my layer to sit not even thinking. So the tp promptly adheres to my rear end and thighs, because my skin is wet and when I stand up, they stay attached. Now stop laughing damn it……..wipe your eyes so you can read the rest, it gets worse………or better depending on which side of this story you are on. I valiantly try to peel the damn treacherous 1/2 ply cheap toilet paper they always seem to have, off of my skin but it was glued on. You know, the kind where you have to worry whether or not your finger might accidentally slip through…well this is another side effect of the tissue paper thin toilet paper they provide.

So this tissue paper thin stuff is hard as hell to peel off and when my daughter leans over and starts pragmatically peeling off pieces then further humiliates me by saying matter of factly, you missed some more mom. O…M…G!! I frantically start rubbing at it, trying to get it off and keep trying to refrain from ‘making it a big deal’ by succumbing to the temptation to swat her hand away. After all, she was just trying to help. Lord, if you could please make THIS one of the childhood memories she forgets, I would really appreciate it.

.............did I get it all?

Just when I couldn’t feel more embare-rassed I turn my rear to her and say, did I get it all. I wanted to die on the spot from either shame or hysterical laughter, I couldn’t decide. Though now I can hardly quit laughing long enough to type this out. She leans over to pull another strip off the other side. ARG, please let this be over with quickly!!! Finally when I could feel no more obvious tp remnants I yanked up my pants and said lets go, knowing the first thing I would do when I got home was check it out, dry off and put on something warm to help me get over the trauma………. LOL

Needless to say I spent the next 15 minutes under the hand dryer, drying myself out a bit. She tried to do the same and her petite size kept her from getting close enough to dry much but her hair and shoulders. Though she kept an exaggerated hop up attempting it anyways.

I see my moment and totally exact my revenge. I calmly point to the other end of the bathroom where the hand dryer is about 4 inches from the sink edge and say “Why don’t you sit on the edge and dry yourself with that one”. She took one look at me over her shoulder through narrowed eyes and her expression clearly said “fuck you very much mom” and I laughed some more as she dried herself off. I even sucked it up enough to amuse her with an exaggerated booty shake under the dryer. While the bathroom was totally empty of course………..I’m not that stupid. LOL ;-P

So I don’t know whether to chalk this up as a fond memory or hope like hell if I’m old and not capable of taking care of myself, my daughter won’t be wiping my bum and thinking back to that day when she was 8 and had to help her mom peel toilet paper off her ass? Great, and my ‘walking recorder’ just HAD to be the one witness……oh wait I guess now all of you know now too. :p

Comments are closed - Categories: Did I Really Say That Out Loud?