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Surely you jest….

January 9, 2016 - Author: Ordinary Girl

This whole situation with my son is ridiculous. It technically started when my daughter was going through all the trouble with the school this year. He was facing the same truancy issue she was when we kept them home. Come to find out – we know for a FACT it was a lie when they told us we could not withdraw her until they had the letter. They indeed were just using that to keep stacking up days. We could have taken her out the day the incident on the bus happened and had 30 days to enroll her somewhere else before being dragged into court. I KNEW I was reading the law right – I kick my own ass every single time I don’t follow my gut. *headdesk* I digress…

Anyways, they decided after it all went down, NOT to charge my son with truancy. However, when some of the plots were foiled against my daughter and some of their “power” taken away by them not getting their way with her counseling, we saw motions begin against my son. (If you recall she has a counselor that has seen her through this last several years of BS – her brother has even had a sibling session). Suddenly right before Christmas break – like the final week before – my son’s Spanish teacher calls out of the blue and tells my husband Bubba is failing Spanish, that he has been showing signs of “depression” and they were sending home paperwork recommending a program for him; “did we want to start him immediately or after break?” I’m livid when I get the message from my hubby, no one called me at HOME, instead, they call him at work to talk to him about MY son. As soon as Bubba hits the door I ask him about it. He tells me that she told him the same thing. I ask how it is possible when he just brought a progress report home a few days before and he wasn’t failing? He didn’t know. He just let her tell him that and didn’t ask for clarification. *sigh* Then she tells him there is nothing he can do to pass – including the final. So he doesn’t. Seems this was another lie…..

I left a few messages with a few different people before break but no one bothered to return my calls. Then no one called after break either. In fact, no one called until I called the high school mid-week and asked to speak with the vice principal Mr. Swafford. Now, I like this guy so far. I’ve spoken to him a few times and we’ve had a positive interaction each time. He seemed shocked they had spoken to my son before even calling me and apologized they called his step-father instead of me, his mother. He assured me he would get to the bottom of it and would let me know what is being done. ETA: He also told me he would put the “word out to everyone we were refusing counseling”.

Instead, I get a call from the counselor. She doesn’t say she has talked to the vice principal, she says she is calling to talk about the message I left her. Even when I tell her she isn’t the only one I left a message with she hems and haws and denies any knowledge of anything else. She can’t answer me why they didn’t call me first, why they spoke to him before me, why no one called me back, why no one else has ever said anything like this about my son, why his coach who would know him best hasn’t raised questions….I start getting pissed. She keeps asking these little confused, lost sounding questions like “you don’t have any questions about the program?” Me: Uhhh no, I researched and found out all I needed to know and we are not interested…..“so if someone is concerned about your son they have to call you first?” I’m like what part of “Yes, he is a minor” does this chick not get? I informed her she would speak to his parents or his attorney first from this point on was that clear enough for her? She yes ma’am-ed me. LOL But WAIT it gets better…..

The NEXT day I call to talk to the v-p again only this time he doesn’t call, my sons’ Spanish teacher Mrs. West does. She tells me this whole spiel about a troubled, mean, withdrawn, socially inept kid… I’m sitting on the other end of the phone wondering if she has the right house and child. I even told her she was describing a stranger – that he was never this way at home or outside the school. That he spoke with adults and kids of all ages and I was often complimented about it. That HE was the one to pull the kid on the edges of the crowd in by going over, introducing himself and chatting with them like they are normal…..because they ARE. She told me he didn’t even bother with the final, like she gave him any reason to. (yes he got a stern talking to over her making a fool of him like that). She exaggerated certain things, left others out and flat out misrepresented the rest. She didn’t miss a beat when I told her it was a school problem not a social problem – that this was the result of everyone’s mom/uncle/cousin/sibling/brother’s/next-door-neighbor getting involved in a “feud”. Glossed right the hell over that road mine. Problem she had…..my son and I talk….about EVERYTHING. Even if no one will talk about my son’s “one hallway” problem. I already knew the whole, REAL story of what occurred in each situation she tried to use. She also throws in the name of my son’s coach (which is the first mention -and only after I said it first…) These people keep underestimating who they are dealing with. Then she dropped the nuke…..Asperger’s.

Everything screeched to a halt with that word! INSTANTLY! I immediately insisted that we have a meeting with all his teachers. She backtracked saying she “hoped she was able to attend” and started being all “I hope you don’t feel this is malicious or anything” and I told her I did (but odd phrasing right?!). She gave me the “I’m sorry you feel that way spiel” that she was “just concerned and really cares about my kid, says how smart he is etc” . Listen chick, you don’t get to drop a word like Asperger’s, say crazy shit about my child and then stroll off saying you hope you can be there to help figure it all out….

I called the school and left a message for the Superintendent. The person who called me back was Mr. Cox – he and I have had a few talks already. So yeah. There is a meeting scheduled Monday, AFTER school hours so we won’t be rushed with EVERYONE. First and Second Semester teachers – so his Spanish teacher doesn’t have to miss out after all (lol), principal/vice-principal, a Superintendent Dr. Bell, the counselors, our son and us of course. They tried to pass me off on P/T conferences – I said we didn’t want to be time limited. They tried to have Dr. Bell sit out since it was Dr. Jones who knew the case – I said since he was out on medical leave Dr. Bell should just sit in so we have it covered. NOTHING will be left to chance. I’m going to nip this in the bud.

Of course there is more to say but there are details I’d rather sit on till after we talk. After all, a good poker player never tips their hand….

No Comments - Categories: Bullying, Fact Check, It's the new year...., Karma, kids, Life In the Boonies

It was Magic

November 19, 2013 - Author: Ordinary Girl

I really enjoyed my kids today. Like REALLY enjoyed them. I am being forced to slow waaaay down and figure out how to accomplish my day and still keep her doing what she needs to do. I see things that I never knew about her, like she can do math instantly and visually in her head in a way that I admit I cannot.

My son was totally bummed because this girl he likes joined in with the crew on the bus that was hassling him today. He left the house in a freakin’ cutoff t-shirt this morning and flew under radar because he just kept his coat on. (yeah noted and I will be checking next time) Anyways he complained about being stuck wearing his coat all day because it is against dress code.

I totally talked him thru it and mentioned that wasn’t he just hanging out with this kid a while ago and ganging up with him? Maybe, just like us, they were having an off day and found something funny. If it had been someone else son, is it possible you might have joined in the laughter? You are mad, and rightfully so but think about it. He totally understood and I watched his spirits life immediately. I told him it wasn’t because you hated that person was it? No. So perhaps today you were the bug and not the windshield? 😉 Tomorrow it would be someone else unless HE made the big deal about it.

I assured him that the girl he has a crush on may very well not have any clue because he hasn’t spoken up and if she knew, she might not have joined in. Again another lift to his spirits and he smiled. I told him to relax and hit the bus like it was all good and sling back whatever was tossed and talk to her, since he knows her name now LOL.

Tornado and I did her work and hung out no issues today. She totally self started, kept focused and I held my word and did the art project even though I admit I didn’t feel like it at first. Who wants to smear peanut butter all over pinecones when it is cold and quickly getting dark out? So we do it. I lose my temper a time or two and yell but all in all it is pretty smooth. Had to refill the PB twice due to my inability to guesstimate how much you need for 6 of those stupid things and Tornado is rolling them in the birdseed all the while complaining about getting messy. Then she insists that she wants to put the twine on. Bubba had put a slipknot in all of them for us and we simply tightened it around the middle of the pinecone and then tied the free end to branches in various places in the yard. I had a little issue with a funny miscalculation of what happens to a hanging pinecone when the branch you bent way down is let go. Jeeze, you would think I would have thought that one thru a little LOL 😉 Unfortunately my oh so coordinated self managed to get these tiny little dark brown burrs all over my fuzzy Elmo pants. HEY, don’t judge me!! They are warm and comfy 😛

Tomorrow I reckon she will make me make good on the yoga deal. LOL. Yes I confess, I bribed her with an art project. And the scene in the yard with her on my shoulders, feet on my hips, standing up with her brother bracing her (after first chickening out and popping me right in the mouth with my own camera she was holding for me). It must have been hysterical to see but I didn’t care I was having some good old fashioned FUN. I might have swatted her for not paying attention but it was barely noted by her anyways. You’d have to whack that child with a sledgehammer I swear to get a reaction (and no I would never).

We took pictures of the sunset and covered her 4-H pine tree sapling with a garbage bag so the frost doesn’t kill it tonight. I sure hope those stupid chickens stay inside, they have taken to wandering down the bottom at night and it is freakin cold. If they frostbite themselves it will be ugly, like amputation ugly and this momma don’t play that. NO. Sorry, I’m not a surgeon and I’m not a vet. I have to draw the line somewhere.

We came back in and fell in love with Ravenswood and watched like three in a row up to the new one only to find out that they won’t have anything till January. *sigh* Hubby strolled in and sat and watched with us as we shuffled the kiddos off to bed. Bubba has been sleeping a LOT so we think he is hitting a growth spurt. I’m getting ready to feed him and flying high on this magical day. They don’t happen often and baby when they do, you can bet your ass this gal is smart enough to grab it with both hands!!

Peace, love and magic. Until we meet again, stay safe and be blessed my friends.

 

Comments are closed - Categories: family, kids, Life is Good, My Children, Parenting

Reading Between the Lines

February 21, 2013 - Author: Ordinary Girl
good kid discount

It pays to have manners

When people speak about parenting, there are things they never mention. Things that most of us keep guiltily in the depth of our hearts, for fear of being judged or for fear of being the only one that feels this way; which is rarely the case.

You will pour your heart and soul into these tiny beings and your heart will break on a near daily basis for one reason or another. You will worry and obsess more about so many things that have never crossed your mind before. Everything from the ingredients in the food to terrible disaster our minds conjure up as parents, never mind we were little hellions ourselves growing up and survived just fine. It will be the most important and most (for the most part) thankless task you will ever undertake.

Having children doesn’t change certain parts of us. We don’t magically become these holy selfless beings. Tell the truth to your friends and encourage them. That little selfish part of us that wants a nap, or a bath or some time to ourselves will always be there, it is only  when we make ourselves or others ashamed of our needs that it becomes something ugly and hidden. It takes a daily act of will, strength of character to continuously put another’s needs before your own and sometimes at the expense of your own. We will fail, not because we are terrible people or parents, but because we are still human. Teaching our children how to humbly handle being wrong is a more important skill than we realize. I honestly can’t remember once my mother apologized to me as a child, and few as an adult.

It isn’t all nose to the grindstone. You will have moments of blinding joy. Moments that your heart threatens to burst from your chest from the sheer beauty of it. You will miss the dependance more than you know once they start growing apart from you. The sheer irony of our job is to teach them to be free of us, to think and function for themselves and then we tend to sabotage their attempt because we still want to protect them, we have a hard time letting go. This is the age though where you get some of you back again. When they are learning self-reliance and responsibility, let them be independent. Set the rules and guidelines and then trust them enough to nap with your door open. Kids blossom when they feel that praise and trust, even the toughest nut can be cracked by the right combination of rules and rewards. Even though that letting go process is bittersweet and painful, the grace with which you handle it or the lack thereof will affect your child forever so be mindful.

Any parent that won’t admit to messing up or not once has had to apologize to their child is either A) A liar B)A blissful first-time parent of a newborn C)A Stepford Spouse or D)A secret descendant of Yoda and you must teach me the ways of the force.

Seriously though, it never crossed my mind to wonder if my mother ever had moments when she (as is totally human) felt resentment for my attitude and stubbornness as a teenager and on into my early twenties. Is my now 13 year old son standing on the cusp of us engaging in the same age old battle for individuality? Does finding your own place in the world have to always be so painful to you and those around you? Or is there some other way to comfortably bridge that gap?

This parenting gig is rough! They should be born with warning labels and tiny manuals strapped to their little bottoms! Let me know your thoughts on the matter.

Until we meet again my friends, stay safe and be blessed!

 

Comments are closed - Categories: kids