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Ciao 2015 ~ a farewell to thee

December 31, 2015 - Author: Ordinary Girl

Frankly I’m not sure where to begin a summary of this year. The week of Christmas really took all I had to get through.

We worked really hard this year for Christmas. The tree we got was so amazing, even the paramedics commented on it – if that tells you anything. Then it was nearly denied when he got sick Tuesday before and was admitted to the hospital for days. He apparently told them Christmas Eve morning he was leaving, he had to be with his family.

The first trip they left him in a miserable heap, wrapped in a blanket, never bothering to give him an IV, meds or a sick bag. He returned the favor by making sure he spewed puke everywhere for them. I told them he was sick…. No one listens to me until I switch to bitch mode. I had no time because I was still in holy-smokes-this-is-serious mode.

stubborn menThe fact that he scooted out for Christmas is little consolation to me as I was suspicious at the time that he was no where near ready. He only broke his fever at 11pm the night before and had not even been monitored on a liquid or soft diet. Hell, he wasn’t done puking or being nauseous. To his credit he spent what little energy he had wrapping presents and playing Santa. He wanted to be part of it. Even if he did have to squat down and rest his head on his hands against the bed for a minute or so here and there. *SIIIIIIIGH*

I did my best to not be disappointed too badly by a holiday dream interrupted but when he got sick for the second time I was damn displeased. I’ve never seen my hubby so sick – he wasn’t even here, don’t know where he went on vacation to but it was crazy shit. The trip to the hospital was a nightmare ER side but when we got hospital side it was wonderful.

I’ve met this particular ER doctor once before and trust me when I say this won’t be an issue I drop. They nearly killed my husband with their stupid moves and the hospital is in pretty pathetic shape as far as supplies and staff goes too. The first time I met Dr. Fat @ss it was ME he was trying to kill. I’m not being dramatic either – wish I was. But I’m not sure I could make this up if I tried… all sounds so surreal.

I literally did not leave OD’s side once I made it to the hospital. I slept there, ate there until they discharged him. As soon as I arrived, I went out with the intentions of touching base and finding out what they knew and didn’t and he jumped in right off being an asshole. He started by claiming that OD had not been there for long. I had time to dry my clothes & his “hospital” blanket before I left for the hospital, not to mention it takes 45 minutes to get there on top of that. I stopped in my proverbial tracks for a second and then looked him square in the eye and told him I was simply giving them important information, that I was demanding or accusing nothing and used the exact wording “let’s get this clear right from the start”.

I saw a nurse off to my right get shocked to her core – like mouth dropped open and eyes bugged out. I finished telling them what they needed to know and then told them he was severely dehydrated and that seeing as my husband was not hooked up to anything and had been given no meds – was hot to my touch and still vomiting I would like to know what was going on. Then I pinned Ms. Shocked in my gaze and told her I’d be needing to speak with a supervisor apparently. Imagine my non-surprise, when suddenly a nurse appeared – I presume she was supposed to be the ‘battle axe’ no-nonsense one – with a handful of meds and an IV bag. ***there are days…..*** HER nonsense was stopped at the insinuation SHE was there looking out for her patient and I wasn’t….I informed her I was his wife and that WAS my job. She dropped her eyes and admitted immediately that I was right about that. Yeah….I had the upper hand and kept it.

They about KILLED his ass with a shot of benedryl and he wound up on heart monitor/code after that. I should have gone with my gut but I KNEW if we refused meds it upped his chances of being booted out by this lazy doctor. The nurse insisted they give it all the time for nausea when I questioned her and stopped hooking it up to his lock in a rather challenging manner. I just silently met her gaze and I was sorry I didn’t make a fuss. (we since found out the blood pressure meds he takes have a direct interaction with Benedryl – OY!) His chest hurt immediately and that battle axe blew it off telling him it would pass. It didn’t. His blood pressure dropped too damn low (93/50) – the EKG monitor alarm went off twice. The first time it happened I buzzed the desk when no one came. Their response was “Yeah, we see it on the screen out here”. O.o The first time I buzzed out there for meds – they shut the call light off without responding. Yes the nurse came in, but that wasn’t the point. That doc worked his butt off trying to prove I was wrong, this wasn’t a readmit and that hubby had picked up a secondary infection last visit.

It literally took FOREVER for Dr. F@# F@$# to get things done but I made it my business to be as sweet as I could possibly be to anyone and everyone who entered the room from that point on. wink  After all I am a proper southern gal and this is war…..& I wasn’t stupid enough to set foot out of the ER, knowing they would not let me back in. It made for a VERY long 5 hour wait. To be fair…the last hour one nurse decided I wouldn’t bite and offered me a soda and a blanket.

Once he got admitted it was smooth sailing from there. The nurses who knew us chided him good naturedly for being back again and I told them he just wanted to get out and get presents. LOL. I’m still short on sleep, grouchy that the end of the year was as trying as the rest of it and not really expecting the new one to be that much different. It would be nice but at this point in life, being a realist is the only thing that keeps me sane. I HAVE to live in the real world or I would be overwhelmed. It’s my job to protect the rest of them.

Bubba is good. He is on the football team and slugging his way through life. The school is attempting some tricks I can’t really discuss right now. But I assure you they will NOT succeed. “They” couldn’t get my husband, they couldn’t get me and now they are targeting my children. We are on high alert, never fear. Hard to believe that he will be 16 next month. I hardly feel like the mother of a 16 year old – it seems like yesterday I was there myself. I look with shining eyes at the man he is becoming and despair of his teen habits as every parent does. But that boy really is something special and so is the relationship we share. Very unique, very open, very honest. I don’t have illusions that he tells me everything but he feels free to talk about the important ones with me and that is awesome.

My little tornado. WHEW. Where do we start with her. Still homeschooling and still dealing with the fallout from the issues with the school. We won’t be free of them “officially” till April and we will be so glad. We made moves to put protections in place for her as well so I am cautiously optimistic that we will have no further problems with legal entanglements. It’s a shame when a whole community teaches the youth that they cannot trust the adults around them for help. We are in the sad minority here. I’m shocked more voices have not been raised but then again they came up against a pretty unique pairing of skill sets with me and OrdinaryDad. Skills I’m glad to see being passed successfully to our two youngest where we never seemed to get through to the oldest three. She struggles a bit with missing her friends but loves the school program she does and the ability to be flexible and learn more about what interests her.

Yeah, this is one of those moments that’s got your name written all over it
And you know that if I had this one wish
It’d be that you didn’t have to miss this
Aw, you should be here…

We lost precious loved ones this year. Wounds that are still very raw for me for many different reasons. Friends and family taken from us far too soon, for one reason or another. Things like that leave a gap that can’t really be filled. When the wind blows….we feel the whistle. We missed some precious moments too because of the pride and petty hate of others. They will scar over in time and the experience and knowledge we gained just might be worth a few licks; I’ll let you know….

It was a constant battle of one kind or another thru the whole year. It was full of milestones, heartbreak, new knowledge, growth, temptations, trials, death, losses & triumphs. My mother’s surgery went well and she is home healing. Husband is home healing. Kids are healthy and so am I. But I won’t lie. I’m left feeling drained after it all, the best laid plans of mice and men. There are serious moments of doubt, where you start examining everything with a microscope but when the shit hits the fan it is how your heart/gut/soul feels about it that is real. The doubt is just the fear winning. Not that it really helps in those low moments…..I haven’t figured out how to protect myself from letting it get the upper hand some days. It’s voice is just so loud and insistent.

I haven’t kept in as close of contact as I’d like with my friends and family. It’s so hard for me to block out the noise of all the stress going on – everyone needs me for something – when a moment comes I just want to curl up with my soft little blanket and let the world drift away for a while. I think about you guys all the time and I feel a great amount of guilt for pulling away…’s just how I deal. It’s my survivor mode. I just literally can’t sometimes. There is a sad part of me too that has to shut out the sadness of us & our children not being able to grow up together. I miss you all dreadfully.

We have our Christmas lights on, the fireplace going and some wine in glasses ~ still fighting, still here and ready to face 2016 with steely determination. Until we meet again, stay safe and be blessed my warrior friends.



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Football, Seniors and other stuff…..

October 1, 2015 - Author: Ordinary Girl

There they are. Our boys, our cheerleaders, our field and our P - last year for our seniors (the twins)

Man it was something else to sit in those stands tonight and be part of that game!! We won, hard fought and honorable 36-35. I won’t bad mouth a team who had such a heartbreaking slap dealt right as they were leaving to come here.


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- Author: Ordinary Girl

So cleaning the house today with the kids it dawned on me that we ALWAYS make a bigger mess before it gets to the cleaned up stage. And cleaning with a cat in the house is very annoying. Can’t leave anything around or his fat butt wants to sit in it.


Hunkered up like he was gonna poop once which freaked me out………

My husband hid most of today and I just realized that he must have thought I was going to put him to work.

I’m wondering if I get this house organized what I will do with all my spare time.

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Blog Hopping Is Fun

April 22, 2013 - Author: Ordinary Girl

You can play too!! You can link from the bottom here or go to Adventures of a Broken House Wife & (Mom) Head on over and check her out anyways. There are lots of good finds there. Plus there is me 😉  LOL

See ya on the flip side my friends.

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Pinching Pennies and Spoiling Yourself

January 31, 2013 - Author: Ordinary Girl

Lets be frank, times are tough and whether you have one or two incomes, children or not, it is hard to make your money stretch. I also have worked and had my children in daycare – done a full day’s work and come home, picked them up and did another full day’s work before I could sleep. I didn’t sleep much as a single parent come to think of it. I get to stay home now, and sometimes, oddly enough, it is more stressful than when I worked outside the home. It has its benefits as well. I get to make a lot of our food and now I am branching out into making our own laundry soap, fabric softener as well as hand-soap. I had a really good friend ask me to pass the information on to her and I figured I would share it with you all.

The first few things are some advice. You will have to spend a little money at first. You need some empty gallon containers about 2 for the laundry soap, 1 for the fabric softener and at least a gallon and a half for the hand-soap. I save nearly everything and so I have three empty hand-soap containers from previous store purchases. You will also need to get the following:

  • 5 gallon bucket with lid (for mixing soap): around $2-4 at walmart, local hardware store, Lowes etc.ingredients
  • 3 gallon bucket (for fabric softener)
  • cheese grater –  large sized holes
  • Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda
  • Borax (20 mule team – natural laundry booster)
  • Fels-Naptha (laundry bar soap)

(All 3 of these can be bought at Walmart for around $6)

Any pot, spoon, grater etc that you use for making these should not be used again for anything but more soap making because it will leech into your food. Just a friendly warning.



You will only use 1/3 bar of the Fels-Naptha soap per batch (2 gallons) so begin with cutting it into three equal pieces. Go ahead and shred 1 piece of the bar just like shredding cheese.

I started with 1/2 gallon of water in a large pot on the stove. Bring to a boil.
Add your 1/3 bar of shredded Fels-Naptha and bring back to boil.
Once your Fels-Naptha has completely melted add
1/2 cup of Borax
1/2 cup of Arm & Soda washing soda

You are going to let this boil (not to hard) for about 5 minutes, it will become thicker as you continue to stir it and all the soaps combine together.

Add 1.5 gallons of COLD water to your bucket and pour your soap into the cold water and start to stir. You will see it start to gel immediately. This is where I used my hand blender if you don’t have one you can do it by hand it is really easy or I have read about people using their drill with a paint mixer on the end of it. Let sit for about 30 minutes stir again really well. Once you are done stirring it, go ahead and pour it into your container and it is ready for use. 1/2 cup per load

Extra hints & tips: The Fels-Naptha is a great soap to put next to the sink for tough grease and smells on your hands. We cut a bar in half and let it sit there. Oddly enough it kills the little black ants that like to come in our kitchen window in the summer. Hmmm, I wonder if I could make a diluted spray or something for the windowsill…

Borax – Kitchen: Helps make your china sparkle & eliminates kitchen odors. Bathroom: Helps remove stains and deodorizes.



  • 2 cups of Conditioner of your type, choice and scent – Yes you get to pick and more specialized than the ones in the laundry isle
  • 3 cups of White Vinegar
  • 6-10 Cups of boiling water (depending on the consistency and potency you desire)

STEP 1. Pour the 6 cups of boiling in water into the pail
STEP 2. Add the conditioner
STEP 3. Add the vinegar
STEP 4. Start stirring
Mix these three ingredients in your bucket (do not shake or you will get alot of foam like I did) Use with a downy ball or 2 tablespoons in the dispenser in your washer.

The vinegar doesn’t smell up your clothes at all, the scent dissolves completely and all you smell when it comes out of the dryer is whatever scent you chose. An extra bonus is the vinegar also strips away all the buildup from your machine and clothes leaving them feeling softer. This whole process took me about 4 minutes! My favorite part about the whole thing is I get to make the scent myself and there are a lot of cool scents out there.

This makes 2 gallons of laundry soap and almost a gallon of fabric softener. So for 64 loads of laundry soap it costs $0.92 that is $.014 a load. – And for 202 loads of fabric softener (a batch) it cost $1.26 that is $.006 per load.

Last but not least is the hand-soap. Again, depending on what type of soap you use as the base will determine the color, fragrance and type of hand-soap you get as well as the cost breakdown.


Here’s what you need:glycerin

Cheese grater (from the dollar store)
2 Tablespoons of Liquid Glycerin (found at any drugstore or grocery store)
1 – 8 oz bar of soap
1 gallon of distilled water


Step 1: Grate the entire bar of soap
Step 2: Fill a pot with 1 gallon of distilled water and add the soap shavings.
Step 3: Add 2 Tablespoons of liquid glycerin and turn the heat to medium/high and stir until the soap dissolves.
Step 4: Once it’s dissolved, it looks basically like soapy water.
Step 5: Leave it alone to cool for at least 10-12 hours. It begins to cloud up after 3-4 hours.
Step 6: After it has cooled completely around 12 hours later it will thicken and look like liquid soap.
Step 7: If the soap is thicker than it should be you can take some beaters and blend it while adding just a little bit of water until the consistency is more like liquid soap. (it should be okay to use your regular beaters on this – I haven’t had a problem but I do make sure to soak them in hot water and soap afterwards.)
Step 8: There you have it….Liquid Soap.


This is a fool proof project that results in huge savings. I used Softsoap Sweet Honeysuckle & Orange Peel for my first and I am looking forward to trying the Yardley English Lavender I have stashed away. Now you can refill your 12 ounce bottle of liquid soap (that cost $3.99) with your gallon of refill that cost around $4.99. That’s some huge savings! I’d say that’s worth the 20 minutes it will take you to make it yourself. The hardest part about this project might be finding and choosing your favorite bar of soap.

Hints & Tips:

* Use your gallon container that the distilled water was in for storage of the soap.

Many have shared Dove soap does not work well with this recipe, what I have read on the internet is some soaps have extra moisturizer in it making it harder to set firm, Dove being one of them. I read that you can heat the water back up and add more soap shavings and allow it to cool again, once cooled if it still hasn’t set you can whip it in a blender. If this still doesn’t work then google until you find a solution to your particular situation.

* The soap can be a snot-like consistency, gross description I know but it still works.

* Soap does not create a big lather, but the lather doesn’t mean it is cleaning better, it is an extra agent added to most soaps so that they foam up. It sets your mind at ease to have the foam ;p If you really miss it, you can get one of the foaming soap kind of dispenser and make your soap a more runny consistency.

These are all HE compatible and totally hypoallergenic so no worries about skin reactions.


Well that is my Suzie Homemaker moment of the day. Let me know how these work for you guys. 🙂 Until we meet again, stay safe and be blessed my friends.


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Time Keeps On Slipping – Into the Future…

January 27, 2013 - Author: Ordinary Girl

I told you he was a fat chunk

Sometimes it is hard to look at their faces and realize that time has indeed flown. Then a birthday comes along that reminds you before you know it, they will be on to their own lives. That the once small and helpless life you brought into the world, nurtured, cared for, fought, bled, cried and prayed over will some day be out of your direct line of control and influence and you can only hope that your voice and teachings are the ones that will echo loudest in their ears when they do.

My firstborn (fondly referred to as Thing One or Bubba as his sister calls him – she is Thing Two or The Blonde Tornado) turned 13 this year. I think I am having a parent crisis, lol.

I remember his birth so clearly as if it only happened yesterday. I never did tell his dad I was having contractions the night before. They started while we were playing a board game and I just silently started timing them. I was a nerd herd member long before I had gotten pregnant and read nearly everything I could get my hands on so I felt better prepared. It worked because I stayed really calm and kinda had the mindset that women were built for this so not to worry.  I started counting; no need to worry him – he didn’t deal well with stress like that. I say that with fondness believe me, we were so young. Barely 21. About 5 a.m. I woke his grandmother who we were living with at the time and we sat down, had toast and juice while chatting. We woke the dad who we called Papa Bear (back then when we were young, in love and still together). Of course it never goes like in the movies and despite our prep we got sent back home. I napped peacefully till my doctor appointment at noon and she sent us

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As blonde as he is now, it was so dark when he was born and little curly ringlets

straight to the hospital. After arriving at around 1:30p.m. and laboring in the hot tub while doing crossword puzzles, Papa Bear sitting in attendance and being the one to wield the pen, Thing One made his entrance into the world a mere 7 easy hours later. At a whopping 8lbs 8oz though with a full head of black curls and steel blue eyes.

He was whisked off the next day for a short visit to the SICU. It scared the bejeezus outta me I will tell you what. His O2 sat had dropped and his lungs were wet so they took him over suddenly and without really explaining stuff to me. It just so happened that Papa Bear had popped home to get supplies so I was freaking out there by myself. Of course I couldn’t follow him over to the main hospital either having just given birth. One nurse sensed my distress and possible impending meltdown, grabbed my by my shoulders and looked me square in the eye and said “He is going to be fine, there isn’t anything seriously wrong with him. If there was, he wouldn’t have spent the night with you. This is for his health and to make sure he is breathing okay.”. I am so thankful she did that, it totally helped and made me feel less alone in that moment. He spent two days there and at 3 days we finally got to go home. Other than a small case of jaundice he fared well with no lasting effects it seemed. He has developed a mild case of asthma as he has gotten older though.

I’ve watched him grow over time. Bandaged scraped knees, sat bedside in the hospital when he was sick, prayed over him, encouraged him and taught him best I can. I have supported his broken heart through losing his Papa Bear, his little cousin GareBear, his G-ma who took us in and was a huge foundation stone in the Buthe family, his Uncle B and other family member on my side as well. It has been a hard road for him and yet his heart has remained so tender and loving. His compassion is something I admire. So many young men have become jaded by this age and treat others with such a hard, rough manner. Thing One on the other hand can’t help but worry how other people’s feelings will be hurt and so he finds himself being picked on or made fun of for being a sissy. Yeah I can’t wait for him to develop a protective crust but I still hope that he doesn’t lose that special heart of his.

Christmas 2012

He is smart and creative which is both good and bad. My absent minded professor is sometimes hard to bring back to earth but when he is off in imagination land he astounds me with his skill and insight. One time he came home with a stunningly accurate rendition of Van Gogh’s Starry Night. I was shocked because I can barely draw a stick figure. He loves music and art and that’s okay with me. He has done everything from football to computers and I am content to let him search for what inspires him now while he is a young middle school kid. Now if I could just get him to remember his homework and classwork – cuz it isn’t because he can’t do it, it is because he is off daydreaming.

Don’t get me wrong, he is all boy and all teenager; from the smell to the surly looks and the way he keeps his room but so far he isn’t too big to hug mom even though my tucking him in days are over……*sigh*

Time has flown indeed. I only really have 5 more years with him until he is legally able to make decisions himself. I hope that the foundation that we have built and the wonderful family that remains a huge part of his life will allow him the safety and support he needs to succeed in life.



He so grown up

I thank the Huffman/Buthe family for all the wonderful times and traditions that they have grown up with and look forward to many more years of fun adventures. I couldn’t ask for better in-laws and better family. I wish we were all still closer, but appreciate all the effort and love that you show though many miles separate us.

I thank my Crandell family for being such a wonderful part of our lives. You have given them traditions too that we cherish, K and AJ especially have been such a pivotal part of their lives. The miss all you guys so much. Having a big brother figure like you taught him how to be a better brother himself. It also taught him how to recognize when others in his life might not be following that example and to stand up for himself. The kids talk non-stop about Tante K and their cousins. They won’t soon forget the time were were able to spend together or the fun MUD PUDDLE making…..hahaha. I will miss getting together with everyone.

I wish sometimes I could rewind time and tell myself to appreciate it all more – or change the fact that I spent a lot of time ill while he was growing up, but I can’t so instead I look forward to being there at his side as we discover together what life might hold, to support him when he inevitably falls and to continue learning from him, as much as I teach him, what life is all about. Teenage years aren’t that scary I guess….I step-parented three so that makes me better prepared than I might have been, but still…………it’s different.

Hard to believe I have a flesh and blood teenager, that makes me feel so old. Of course I can always call my mother up and tell her she has a teenage grandson….yeah that might make me feel better. ROFL. And as for me, I think I will go flip through baby pictures and feel sorry for myself in the way that Moms do when our babies suddenly grow up on us. To me, I see him always as that chubby little baby curled up in his crib.


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My chubby little angel


Until we meet again, stay safe and be blessed my friends.



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If You Give Yourself the Name, Play the Game

August 4, 2011 - Author: Ordinary Girl

What astounds me it that there is a large group of people out there who are just now noticing that ‘bad things’ are happening in the world. Seriously you could knock me over with a feather right this second. I guess I think everyone is like I am. That they know right from wrong and can see the issue no matter what ‘side’ they might be standing among. And sometimes I’m standing opposite from all those surrounding me. I don’t care, I am not scared. I have always been able to stand in the face of most anything and speak without flinching………well not much anyways.  I can tell you why though, every time I can give you the information backing up my feelings, values, beliefs or what have you. Am I always right? Hell no, but I’m passionate about it without being blind to the possibility of new knowledge shifting and growing and most importantly making sure to always strengthen that knowledge.

“Live by what you believe so fully that your life blossoms, or else purge the fear-and-guilt producing beliefs from your life. When people believe one thing and do something else, they are inviting misery. If you give yourself the name, play the game..”


Just because I am passionate in the defense of those things does NOT mean that I am not open to other views. I have survived as long as I have by keeping my feet and mind moving. When did passion preclude discussion? When did dissent become racism? Oh right about the time people ceases to be honest with others let alone themselves. If you are as um, forthrightly open about those things as I am, shouldn’t that mean that you expect and are prepared to say why if someone challenges those? Makes sense to me. Do I have to be on a particular side? By definition a belief is : conviction of the truth of some statement or the reality of some being or phenomenon especially when based on examination of evidence. So you can’t truly HAVE a belief unless you have some understanding of it. Right there in black and white people…..

Not just YOU but ME. I have to listen to myself speaking too. I’m talking to all of us getting caught up in the panic of what is going on in the world. We do have a measure of control, no matter what our situations, to affect the outcome of what happens in our own lives. It takes careful weight and measurement. Do we have the courage to give ourselves the name and more importantly, once we do so – are we going to actually play the game? I don’t like what standing your ground has come to mean. I has started to be a line of division, rather than a place to find compromise. A behavior-modification society has begun. How far will it trickle down? That my friends is for you each to answer for yourselves.

Until next time, stay safe and be blessed my friends.


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My very first guest post

July 27, 2011 - Author: Ordinary Girl

My First Guest Post – check out this talented writer at My Husband Ate All My IceCream

And no, I don’t mean me LOL – I mean read her stuff, she is super talented. I should have had this up yesterday, but for some reason I had the 28th stuck in my head.

This is a set of two posts about an incredibly moving experience that happened to our family. I’m not one to thump a bible or even talk about my personal beliefs, but this one was just undeniable as far as I felt. My friend and fellow blogger Heather Reese featured the first part of it on her blog. I appreciate that she did not dismiss it though our views on faith might differ. She and I think very much alike in a lot of ways and she is one of my favorite writers.

Part 1:

Part 2:

I grew up in a charismatic home. I strayed completely away from any faith or belief when I left at 17 because of how hard it was rammed down my throat and up my butt every day, in every way. We were forced to attend church whether we wanted to or not, we were not allowed to question or disagree. My mother refused to even give me advice when I bothered to speak to her about things – she would tell me to go read my bible. Don’t get me wrong, the Bible is a great guideline for how to live your life, but I don’t think that it survived the ages without outside influences changing it.Tell me the King James version wasn’t written with those guys hoping to not piss off the king…..and there are other writings through history that disagree with some of what else is written there so they are dubbed ‘false’ testaments. As if we can judge that if we don’t look at everything….

In my college years through my early twenties I had no faith whatsoever, and then when I found myself out on my own as a single parent I joined a really great church. Too bad hypocrisy killed any desire to ever try again. After they grew and started collecting for a new building it changed. They weren’t listening to a dire warning about a sexual predator in our church (who 2 years later went to prison for molesting a 12 year old girl – he was in his 30’s) and even though I had single-handedly opened the coffee shop and trained everyone, as well as ran the single’s group for 20’s – they felt they could just take it away and give to other people who didn’t even fit the criteria, let alone do the work for it all. I felt betrayed and stopped attending. Finally when I moved here, I just decided it wasn’t worth it. My faith is my own and I don’t share unless someone asks. Even then I don’t have just one belief more like a mash of different faiths and understandings. My kids have gone to church but believe in reincarnations (no I don’t know where they got the idea but I let them have their own views).

I feel there is a HUGE difference between faith and religion and I encourage my kids to question their beliefs because if you don’t know why you believe it and it is a blind faith then I don’t think that you can tell anyone else how to believe. It is something we all must figure out for ourselves. My children are baptized Catholic (godparents and all)  in honor of my Grandfather, we attended christian churches as well as I let them take a bus to a baptist one for a while here in TN. I don’t see any reason to force them or prevent them from going if they desire, and I am more than willing to talk to them about it. I can’t tell them I don’t know if there is for sure anything there or not there, but I do say that their loved ones that have passed are in heaven simply because I don’t know how else to explain in a comforting way to them. They have lost 4 close family members When they are older, there will be a time and place for that. Heck I guess none of us will really know till the end of our time on this earth. I can’t really categorize my beliefs now, except to say that I don’t believe we are alone in the universe.

What I do know that the power of love and friendship can overcome a multitude of odds and I have seen some miraculous things happen so I believe we aren’t alone. Whatever that may be. Hopefully what you take from these post is not me preaching but a thankfulness that this wonderful miracle was a part of our lives. Enjoy the read and please give some love to Heather.

Stay safe and be blessed my friends.


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Irish Bedtime Blessing

July 7, 2011 - Author: Ordinary Girl

Sleep sweet within this room,
Who e’er thou art,
And let not dreams of yesterday
Disturb thy heart,

Nor let tomorrow,
With its fear of coming ill.
Thy Maker is thy changeless friend;
His love surrounds thee still.

The stars are watching overhead,
Put out each earth-born light.
Sleep sweet, good night, good night.

sleep sweet

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Why Should I Owe Anyone An Explaination?

June 21, 2011 - Author: Ordinary Girl

I hate that I feel as though I must explain myself to anyone. I have this stupid insecurity I suppose. I don’t really care deep down what people think of me, but being the giver and nurturer that I am, I get taken advantage of or unfairly judged; I guess it just irks me is all. There are many whom I claim as family and they have not a drop of shared blood or DNA in common with me, only ties of the heart. And honestly, I am closer to them than anyone (with one exception) who is truly my genetic family.

I have mentored more than one kid, not that I am super mom or anything, but people seek me out for support and advice. Sometimes that backfires because I feel as though, being the ‘strong one’, I shouldn’t show any weakness and usually press myself entirely too thin. I don’t ever want to be the one that turns a soul in need away though, and so I do it every time.

Take a kid, whose parent has asked me to be involved on a deep level – due to some trouble they are having, and remove her from the home, add other pressure to it, mix in a little confusion on what it going on with said parent and you have a mixed up situation starring a kid at risk and in need. Am I supposed to stop? Am I supposed to put boundaries on a relationship? Or am I supposed to do what it takes, in love and honesty, to keep any hold on that kid so that they have someone safe to guide them while they work out their issues and goals? I don’t care how I’m judged, they are a child of my heart as you are family of my heart. Why is it different? It was what it was and still would be if I were not involved, so because of the touchiness of it all I should walk away? I only offer hope and love to someone, I didn’t take it away or  mess with it. I only scooped up the pieces and hung on tight to them, seeing the hope and potential in them.

I want good things for the whole situation, and know that eventually every one should come to a point in their life where they do what it right and damn the cost!! If I were selfish, I wouldn’t put myself out there to be hurt. But I believe in this so strongly that I am willing to give my life for it. If you must, lead me to the guillotine and I willingly go. Love does not judge or put boundaries on things. I cannot let go of a bright and shining spirit just because someone is uncomfortable. You asked me to be here and I am upholding my word faithfully. I wasn’t interfering before and I am not now. She is allowed her feelings and I am doing the best I can to support her. Why can’t you be selfless enough to understand that?

I am trying to work on the interactions but I can’t when you pull stuff like this. I still care even if you don’t speak to me. I want good things for you and yours. I am still trying to help not hinder!! I don’t break my promises and I promised you I would take care of her and let you know how best to help her. Why should I break it because you have had a change of heart somewhere. Believe me, it breaks my heart to know that you think I would hurt you deliberately after all that we have weathered together. Again, I love her and you enough to take the hit if I must.

You may not like where I’m going but you sure know where I stand………..hate me if you want to…… me if you can……

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