Menu

Find that elusive post….

Looking Back

Grab your Fan Badge

Just An Ordinary Girl
Hell on Wheels @ OrdinaryGirl
<div align="center"><a href="http://pricesec.com/ordinarygirl" title="Hell on Wheels @ OrdinaryGirl"><img src="http://pricesec.com/ordinarygirl/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Hell-on-Wheels-copy.jpg" alt="Hell on Wheels @ OrdinaryGirl" style="border:none;" /></a></div>
Walking My Talk @ JAOG
<div align="center"><a href="http://pricesec.com/ordinarygirl" title="Walking My Talk @ JAOG"><img src="http://pricesec.com/ordinarygirl/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/walking-my-talk-at-JAOG-badge.jpg" alt="Walking My Talk @ JAOG" style="border:none;" /></a></div>

Google Connections

My not-so-ordinary Posse

The Seaman Mom

mondaymingle

Craft DIY Ideas

fw

The Bipolar Diva

Evil Joy Speaks

The Farm Girl Recipes

Craft DIY Ideas

Scary Mommy

© 2012 Firstyme - All rights reserved.

Firstyme WordPress Theme.
Designed by Charlie Asemota.

Sending Heaven A Message ~ Too Much Sadness Today

Today is Father’s Day and for some of us, it is a hard day. We don’t have fathers who are with us, for whatever that reason may be. My father has passed and I have friends and family who will have a hard time today as well because they are missing their fathers too.

dear father

…..however mine is colored with regret for not ever having a real father in my life. I’m sure some of you can share that feeling as well.

I started the weird tradition in my family (when I became a single parent myself and understood all that my mother had to deal with) of calling her and wishing her a Happy Father’s Day. By then I knew what it took to be both parents to my two children. I have a son and a daughter so I see the need from both sides for a father in a child’s life.

I figured if she did the job of both, shouldn’t she get the credit too? When my sisters wound up in the same boat, they, as well as any of my single parent friends also get my calls/text/wishes on those holidays.And yes, I do wish my single father’s a Happy Mother’s Day as well. I simply admire anyone who takes a stacked deck and actually parents with it.

 

I try to focus on this day on the fact that I have a wonderful man in my children’s lives and that they won’t miss out on having someone in their lives like I did. But on this day they also hurt because they remember their dad isn’t here. My son because he remembers, my daughter because she can’t.

My husband went to town yesterday to run errands for guy stuff like Tractor Supply for dog food and parts for our John Deere Mower you know, guys junk. And my son went along for the ride. I’ll tell ya, he came back feeling 10ft tall because he got to go. My husband is no slouch when it comes to parenting. When he married his ex she had two kids, then they had three and when we got married I had two. So in all, he has been through 7 kids. I think he may have picked up a tip or two.

He has been there for everything over the last 7 years. He was there when my daughter got potty trained, when my son rode his first two-wheeled bike and then my daughter as well. He has been there through all the bad stuff too, like the day we almost lost two of our kids to a wicked car accident or the day we had to tell mine their daddy was gone. He was there, being a rock, a great man, a great father, a best friend. He will be there for their future things like graduation, getting married, having children; and I think that I couldn’t have asked for a better person in their lives. eternal calling

Today my heart breaks for OrdinaryDad. He is feeling it especially hard after Mr. BBP paid him and unpleasant visit. The little shitbird came up, dropped off the money for this phone – two days late ($60/mo), took the rest of his stuff, lipped off to his dad, accused him of kicking him out (still not admitting to the failing college and taking off and lying), tried to take his dog down to the neighbor’s house (and accused me of potentially doing something to her), lipped off some more, said he didn’t care about lying and using our client to do so, fucker actually shrugged. Funny thing is that he and I barely fought compared to his twin and when his twin left he bailed on HIS dog too and Chaos is thriving. Hell Sable sleeps with US now at night. She hasn’t really acted as bad as we thought she might.

On his way out the door I said “Nice Father’s Day, asshole”.  and he turned around and told me to go fuck myself which it totally fine, I laughed in his face. Then he proceeded to lip off some more to his dad on the front porch while OD had to make sure he didn’t steal Sable. Keeps saying it doesn’t matter, that he “can’t afford school” even though he is/was getting way more money this coming semester than he had first round. There is something seriously wrong with that boy. He has finally snapped like we worried he would, and it is just as ugly as we thought. He didn’t even try to come up here nice, he hit the door with a bad attitude. He was looking for a fight.

OD had to tell him he wasn’t taking the dog anywhere until he could prove he had a place to live with him and her. Claims he is finding something in town that will allow a pet….really? Umm I have looked for places to live many, many times in my life and good luck finding something. You really have no clue. And if you do, the deposit is a nice chunk of change.

My husband’s heart leapt in his chest when Mr. BBP sent the Happy Father’s Day text and asked if he could come up. He was so excited to hear from and get to see one of his boys today and now he is broken hearted again and I am angry on his behalf. But he will sit there bleeding from his wounds, drop by drop and just keep taking the slashes. He doesn’t stand up for himself let alone lash out and I’m curious if I will feel the same way if my kids act like jerks when they get older. Because I say right now I don’t care who you are, you are expected to treat me with the same respect I give you, and for that matter, if you push too hard, expect me to push back period.

This sucks so hard because I can’t help him other than be there to hold him together when he falls apart and yes he cries, I can only imagine how it hurts him to see what all the scars they carried have done to them and their choices. It hurts to watch a son have it all and let it go and to not even have the courtesy of giving his dad an explanation to understand it all. It hurts him to watch them live a lie and believe that lie and use that lie as a weapon against him. But he loves them enough to take it, he loves them enough to leave the door open, he loves them enough to love them even when they throw it in his face and I can’t help but admire him for it.

This is an exceptional man, and I am honored to share his life. Please send your thoughts and prayers to him. I’ll stand strong while he can’t because he never fails to stand strong for his family.

Appreciate what you have my friends. Please tell your loved ones how you feel and don’t let petty things stand in the way. Some day you might look back and it will be too late.

Until next time my friends, stay safe and be blessed.

to have a child

A Light In The Darkness – No Ordinary Love

She is still in the hospital – Aley has been on the phone via text with her constantly through the day. There was a bit of an issue yesterday afternoon. For some reason a doctor decided to run a test on her heart in order to “see if it could recover from an shock” so they gave her an adrenaline shot, K suffered a mini seizure and now has amnesia. I SWEAR I am not making this up – is it real life fairytale people…She remembers bits and pieces.

Aley has faithfully spent all yesterday talking her through it, reminding her of things, telling her stories. Bit by bit she is building a picture. Aley told me about the afternoon: her mom took a picture of her sleeping and sent it to him saying she was dreaming of him. When she woke up, they were chatting and she asked him if it was weird for him that she didn’t remember. He told her not really, that she remembered some and that mattered. He said I love you and when she said it back, he asked her if it was weird for her to say that not knowing why. She told him a little but that she knew it was true because she could feel it. She told him she had dreamed of him. And when he asked her about it she told of the memory of how it felt the last day she saw him and had to leave him.

I have talked with Aley and he realizes that he has ‘stumbled’ into something that most people spend their whole lives searching for. I told him in all seriousness to hold onto it, because it was something precious. I have never been prouder of him than I am now. His character is shining through loud and clear. After the initial shock has worn off, he has been responsible, strong, patient and very supportive to her through this whole thing. Most definitely I see that he has become a man.

I am honored that he is sharing with me. He has come once or twice to give us updates about how she is doing and what is going on. My husband and I were in the kitchen and he stopped briefly to ask if we happened to have money for a round trip…. he didn’t get much further before we had to say no we did not, much as we wished we did and could send him to be at her side. I see him in a bright light, standing at the side of the maiden fair, in shining armor. I wish so bad we could, I know that he could help. If she came home after four days in a coma to him, and he has been there to help her how he can and been doing so admirably – then being there to hold her hand or touch her face would light the darkness for her.

Lost in the shadows she can feel this powerful love that they share. She knows that he is the one for her and as much as it going on – that love keeps them connected through the miles. I cannot do justice to the way it feels in a parent’s heart to see and recognize that their child has found true love. Their soul mate. Aley is, and always has been the steady one. He is logical and methodical in his life. He is a strong tower that stands amid the storms for her. I haven’t given him enough credit for that. I’ve known it was there, but it has never shined so brightly before.

You have to stand back and watch them go. You prepare them their whole lives for this moment, and much as it hurts, you know it is time. I don’ worry as much as I used to. I see how wonderful they are, yes we all have our faults, but now I am seeing their strengths. I am encouraging them to use those and by example now, teaching them how to fly with them. Cameron has shared some private plans with me that make me bust with pride as well.

Where once I saw children in all three of these young people, I see it changing. I see a man and a woman, in love, one that will transcend time and space – one that we can help them take proper care of. Especially by leading through our newly transformed relationship. I see a young man, who used to be a little Emo, turned into a confidant businessman who is off soon to compete in National Competitions all across the country this summer for FBLA as well as TSA doing web design. He has already taken first in State Competitions. He is seriously, and always has, considering where his goals are set and what he can do to get there.

I am humbled by how clearly things have come into view. I understand a lot of what was going on, what was going wrong and how we can still make it there. Nothing is ever hopeless with faith and love. Don’t ever give up, though the night is long and your heart is weary that last step could be the one that takes you into the light of the sun.

Stay safe and be blessed my friends.

True love and Brotherhood

To Keep Myself Sane – Fingerprint Fridays

The Rusted Chain – has been the inspiration for the Fingerprint Friday series. Stop by and see who else is doing it.

?

That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open…

~Creed~

?

I don’t need no one
To tell me ’bout heaven
I look at my daughter and i believe

~Live~

?These pictures were taken a while ago, but you can see their eyes so clearly. If you stop and take the time, you will realize, nothing is as clear as when seen through the eyes of a child.

My dear friend Jennifer, (check out her blog) is a new mother. She had a long heartbreaking struggle with infertility, only to be blessed by God with a beautiful daughter – completely naturally – shared something with me. She told me that her mother told her that when tiny babies smile, it is because they are remembering heaven. It is a thought that warms my heart and makes me smile. I can see heaven when I take the time to look into the eyes of my children.