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Banjo Music In Our Own Backyard…….the Backlash (Part 3)

Not scary, but insulting nonetheless - who in their right mind does things like this?

Since the October 26th incident where we both confronted Bobby to his face, things have spiraled out of control. He had not been able to bully/scare my husband the day he came over and stuck a gun in his face on our front porch. I did not back down when he threatened me in his driveway. Then we had the ‘audacity’ to call the police and report it…….Do you not know he is the fucking KING of this valley and won’t tolerate any disrespect? Psssshhhhhh!

Not scary, but insulting nonetheless - who in their right mind does things like this?

Bobby has always been a bully. He bullied Dennis when they were kids. Now that the playing ground is level, and everyone is all grown up, he doesn’t like it, so they resort to dirty pool. They hung a new decoration on their fence the week before court. Get this people….a NOOSE. Yep, that is right. Because we have had the audacity (and heard about it afterwards on the gossip chain) to have friends up here who happen to be black. Worse yet, his wife is *gasp* white. OMG!! These people have serious issues guys. Instead of letting us know they saw the kids riding a bit too fast on the quad, they called Dennis’ father and told on them to him. They didn’t walk over here, they didn’t call, they tattled. He doesn’t live here, lives down the mountain and two towns over. Both they and Clarence keep exchanging calls when they should have been dealing with us in the first place. Then he nags Dennis over things and doesn’t even realize that they aren’t true. He just assumes they are. And Bobby and Dean don’t have any issues with their grandkids tearing up that same strip of road in front of the houses on their dirt bikes, quads and motorcycles. The back and forth went from bad to worse. They watched every move we made, and went out of their way to be jerks. Every weekend, they ride those loud things or shoot for hours on end. We rolled our eyes and ignored them, turned the proverbial cheek for years. Not once did it cross our minds to press any charges or involve the law. They were just assholes plain and simple. To be ignored.

They did not feel the same. They had to see something happen. How dare we not cow to them. On November 18th my husband was driving home with his son Aley. They came upon a car that was driving incredibly erratically and since this is tourist haven, they figured it was a drunk driver. Rather than continue to be stuck behind someone like that in the dark, (just at/after twilight) they passed (even though it is solid yellow all the way through the mountain) it was safer than worrying they would wreck and then cause them to wreck. Besides, it was a straight stretch, you could have seen the lights; someone would have to be driving in the dark, in the woods with no lights for there to be an accident. We haven’t had good stories on these roads either. They pulled away from the driver only to have them speed up on their tail, with their bright lights blaring. It kept on until he was held up on the next level of the road when you cross the bridge. It heads up the mountain and has several steep 25mph curves. Some slow erratic driver was in front of him now and he was pinned with the bright lights in his rear view. As they rounded the last few curves to the house he decided he didn’t want to lead this crazy fucker to our house so he stops and gets out. Turns out the car that had passed them pulling onto the mountain road was Dean. He asks her to turn off her brights and she tells him to get back in the car. He says he will when she turns off the lights. She does, he does, they go home. End of story. Well except the slow driver was the 13 year old girl being allowed by her mother to drive up the mountain in the dark.

Five days later a Sheriff shows up on our porch around seven-ish. Dennis was served with a warrant. Apparently when they reported it to the police initially the idea happened. When the sheriff showed up then, Dennis didn’t say anything other than he passed her and there was no yelling or cursing like she claimed. The cop even tried the good ol’ I know it was this truck and Dennis was like Okay……  The cop took the report but when he went back to Bobby and Dean, he informed them what they could do. They went down to the courthouse and on their word alone, pressed charges for reckless endangerment and dogs at large. Dennis would have been arrested on the spot had he not signed the papers, though they didn’t tell us that at the time, we read it in the fine print. We felt we had nothing to hide, and had done nothing wrong so he signed it but we were like seriously? Then the sledgehammer dropped. He had ten days to turn himself in for booking. Yes, my husband, the small business owner, father of five, ex military, ex Department of Corrections. No court. No jury. No nothing other than a pissed off false claim from a neighborhood bully. To serve and protect my ass!!

neighbors new fence decoration

So Christmas is coming up fast, and the court date is on December 14th.We get to look at things like this, all the while being super vigilant of EVERYTHING because we don’t want to give them anything. I documented all the history, took pictures of everything and got ready. Every noise makes us jump, every engine makes us check the windows and doors. It isn’t fun.

First thing we do is find an attorney in the neighboring county. Turns out he is familiar with this area and I quote “I wouldn’t take it [the county], if you gave me a crown and said your the fucking king of P- County”. Even knew the bitchy dark haired girl by name who features in the story later. I just gave the description as a rude dark haired girl and he spouted her name off.  We suspected that was who it was. Another ally for Bobby and Dean, people down here are very clannish and tend to believe gossip without checking for themselves. We met only a few brief times with him but I had already compiled a long list of what had been going on, the fact that Bobby had a criminal record, the history of animal cruelty, the gossip, and all of it. Of course the previous report was of no use to us having been done by a young man who was friends with the oldest of Dennis’ boys. He bungled it and didn’t fill out the whole story just the dogs part, not the weapon part. Then it dawned on me that they would have to have transcripts of the 911 call. They better do it quick though I said because crazy man’s son’s wife is the dispatcher. The lawyer noted that, and we never heard, but the judge apologized to our attorney to us for how rude and short he was.He told us at our second meeting before court.

We went in to the justice center the day after seeing our attorney, at his advice, to get a restraining order till court. That is where the rude fat bitch comes in. She tries to refuse us. Starts whispering “that’s him” and says “charges pending” and the other woman came back to ask for more information. They tell us we can come back in two days or they can fax it over to the judge, wait for his decision, and then he can fax it back. She advises us it might be faster to do it in court Wednesday. So we agree but the bitch butts in again and says why don’t you just wait a week and a half for court and do it then. I couldn’t hold back any more. I leaned in the window and said tightly, through clenched teeth “because my children are being threatened with guns that is why”. The other woman who was helping us looked a little shocked and shot a glare at the bitch leading me to believe that as usual in an office of women, they don’t like her very much. She was pissed and glared at me, while I glared her down in return. I stated loudly we would be in court Wednesday for the Order of Protection and we left. Well I left and Dennis followed me. See, that is why I’m a bitch, I stand up for us. *rolls eyes*

So the bitch gets back at us by secretly moving up our court date. When we show up for the R.O. we realize he thinks we are here over the alleged charges. We inform him we have an attorney and he gets real snotty saying “Well he is supposed to file a notice of representation, and if he can’t follow the rules of the court…”  To no avail we kept trying to explain what happened all the while that dark haired devil is smirking. When we leave, we go straight to the office and set up another appointment. At the second appointment we tell him about the son’s wife being the dispatcher, what the devil had done, as well as what the judge had said. Then it was on. We were not really informed of much, but he took total charge on our court date.

Dennis had to endure the booking process and yet they didn’t take it seriously. They noted no details about him other than the fingerprinting and the pictures. They even warned him this ‘National Enquirer” style paper would publish his picture and the alleged charges unless we PAID them not to. Now he was fuming even more. He kept his cool and I am so proud of him. It was humiliating for someone who has always tried to work hard, do right and take care of his family. His freedom was stripped with a simple word from someone else. So we waited.

Court finally came and the attorney was late because a heavy fog settled over the whole area. He came in and assured us things were fine. We went into court and he did as well. After doing the usual attorney meet and greet up there, he handles a few smaller cases he has and then moves onto us. We talk with him briefly after he speaks with the DA and then he calls Bobby and Dean aside. He basically tells them we are denying all the charges and were more than willing to take it to trial. He would pull it over to Bradley county if anything else happened, but otherwise we were willing to do the mutual Order of Protection and drop it. They were pissed. He came back and told us what was going on and then we saw the judge. The judge blustered here and there about slapping someone in jail – but we knew it was all idle threat now. They had nothing. He knew, our attorney knew, they knew and we knew. The case was continued for six months. If all stays quiet, it drops with nothing on record. If anything happens we go to court.

Our attorney volunteers to draw up the mutual P.O. and then loudly ask them if they feel they can be in the same room for a little bit. LMAO. I was enjoying some Karmic justice. Once we got into the room, we were all just about elbow to elbow in this tiny room. Our attorney was as gracious as could be but threw out plenty of loaded barbs. He made fun of her name saying someone didn’t do you any favors; her name is Hazel LaDene. She was pretty huffy about that. Then he asked if they wanted to include the kids, when they did he said what a shame to throw kids into squabbles especially around the holidays. Now it was Bobby’s turn to squirm. He made it known that if EITHER side broke this order, that they would be in trouble. Not just us, them as well. Everything got wrapped up and we couldn’t help but smirk a little that their plans had unraveled in their face. They never expected us to get an attorney, to have our information organized, to have pictures and actual intelligence to build a case. They never thought beyond trying to get us in trouble. We fought back. Now we wait. Now we just ………….wait. This waiting is killing me. Just wait till the cameras and security light go up, muahahahaha………..

(to be continued, the wrap up – thoughts and feelings)

 

Banjo Music In Our Own Backyard……..the Background (Part 1)

it only takes a small spark to start a wildfire.........

So, this is such a long story it may turn out to be a two/three part-er. It started years ago, and I haven’t said much if anything about it. You all know that my husband’s father hates my guts. You may not know why. You know his oldest son feels the same way, you may not know why. You all know he is completely estranged from the majority of his family….but again the whys are important. It all leads to the path we are on now and the pressing stress and fallout. Hang on for the ride of your life, I couldn’t make shit up like this if I tried.

___________________________________________________________________________________________

We flash back in time to when Dennis and I were still dating. Our first party thrown as a couple, Memorial Day I believe. We had all his friends over as well as his father, who lived right next door at the time. Yes I lived with him for a while till my apartment was ready but we lived separate until we got engaged. The old coot never came over to see us, we had to go there. He rarely had anyone but Cody over and was a butt when we used his hot tub out back. Didn’t celebrate holidays even when we lived that close. Well this particular day he did nothing to help, no big deal. Didn’t bring anything, no big deal. Refused to put his extra chairs over the fence, okay *sigh* send the boys over to get them. People start arriving, we send someone over to get him. He waits till the food is nearly ready so he doesn’t have to mingle. Walks in and starts ripping on the food. LOUDLY!! My husband was grilling burgers, chicken, hot dogs and brats. He starts on and on about how they are disgusting and look like penises on the grill. How can anyone eat those things they are obscene and disgusting and blah blah blah. I’m starting to get embarrassed and our guest are looking amused but uncomfortable. Dennis warns him he is upsetting me and he basically said he like aggravating me and continues. I finally caught him aside and hissed that he did nothing to help, sat on his butt, refused to put chairs over and that if he didn’t like what was there he could go home but he was going to stop being rude and disrespectful. That’s it folks. That moment of standing up to him pissed him off and since then all I have heard was what a bitch I am, how there is something wrong with my kids, he doesn’t want me anywhere near him, blah blah blah. He tried to talk Dennis out of marrying me and then faked it for the wedding but afterwards everything changed.

What I have done since the wedding, is stop all his using and manipulating. He would have Cody over but never the twins. Admits that he doesn’t like the twins and then amends it to he cannot handle them together, though he never wants to have Cameron. My kids aren’t allowed to call him papaw, they have to call him Alex. No acknowledgement of them at all. He would have Aley over, have him do all the honey-do’s of the house, pay him $20 bucks and complain about having to feed them. So I said okay, they aren’t his slave labor. He never comes to their football games, never comes for ANY holidays, never participates at all. Twenty wouldn’t buy him five minutes of a professional’s time so let him hire someone for that crap and if he wants to see the boys he can set something different. So now I “keep him from seeing his grandsons” as he has told anyone and everyone that will listen, and he never tries to see them or call them. I stopped him treating my husband like shit and then expecting him to jump when he wanted something. He has had Dennis under his truck after being in the hospital for hurting his back. He bought him a recliner as a gift and then made Dennis pay him back. Again, I put my foot down and told Dennis he deserved better than that. It went on till his dad sent gifts last Christmas for the twins but not for my kids. Not even directly, but through the neighbors we are having issues with (thanks to his gossip and manipulation – they talk on a weekly basis and listen to his lies). Dennis was pissed and sent them back saying if he wasn’t going to include them all then we didn’t want anything.

That is why his dad hates me. Now he is and has separated me and Dennis and the boys from the rest of the family with his lies.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Why does his son hate me? Well back in the same days I found out that my grandfather was very sick. I was sitting on the back porch smoking a cigarette and being upset. His son Cody came back and told me that he could get me some pot. I was shocked and like WTF? Who the hell offers something like that especially to his dad’s new girlfriend? Now I had to decide what to do. What would you do? I would want someone to let me know that about my child and I don’t lie to my significant other especially. What good is a relationship without trust and honesty? So I told his dad and we set up a safe way for him to be caught. Then we confronted him. He stopped being friends with that boy, ended up having a great high school career, and was the unsung hero at his senior football banquet. He even told me that his life had turned out better for it, but he would always hate me for it and never thank me for it and I told him I was content with that. He spent the next several years undermining the family dynamic by drilling into the twins that family is blood and only blood. He manipulated things by encouraging bad behavior and then coming to be “friends” with me to help me out.

He hated the twins for taking his time from his dad and he resented me and the kids even more because we weren’t related. He tried to break us up on the sly with his little games. Oh he gave a sweet little toast on the wedding day, but he didn’t mean a word of it. While we were on our honeymoon he picked up two girls and had sex with one at the house with my kids there. I got asked questions by my son afterwards. Then on his 18th birthday a few weeks later, he tried to have me arrested. We heard (through the small town grapevine) that he was going to have a keg snuck in. We told him there better not be any alcohol because the cops would be there. Well they did end up showing up, about 5 minutes after I busted him myself. While I took the dogs inside he told them it was mine. Then he tried to say I gave them permission. I was beyond pissed but stuck up for him. Told them he was on his way to college with a football ride and even though we were having issues with him we were trying to get him straightened out. They left and when his dad grounded him for throwing me under the bus, he packed his stuff and left. He spent the next year sponging off various people, and his grandpa fed a LOT of it. He bought him a car on the sly, even though it cost $25 for him to fix his here. He gave him money and other things without telling us anything. Various friends kicked him out once he didn’t do anything but eat and sleep and jack off. So then Dennis’ father did the unthinkable. He snuck him a bus ticket to go live with his mother in Arizona. (Who by the way we won custody of all three boys from. Well she sent Cody away but we got the twins) Who does that behind a parent’s back? Cody never held a job till he was 19 and even then he works stocking shelves part-time at pet smart and joined the reserves but refuses to do anything serious with it. He just turned down special forces training. When he left here, he walked away from college starting as second-string halfback, we blew $5,000.00 plus on getting him set up at this college not to mention more than one bailout and more than one vehicle, several sets of tires. He had the money ( a secret gift from his aunt at the wedding, plus money from the Obama work program, plus from us) three times over to pay the $1,500+ needed for school and he was pissed we wouldn’t pay it. Blamed us for ruining school. The last attempt was him trying to get some stuff from the house before he left state. I told him there was nothing here that was his and he told me he would call the cops and report me for theft. I asked him who’s house was it in and told him to go ahead.

Once all the shit hit the fan with Cody and my health declined so sharply, things got worse. If you remember I am 5’10” tall and weighed 125lbs at my wedding. Well according to my F-I-L’s gossip, we are doing drugs up here, not I almost died, not the ambulance drivers and I are on a first name basis they were here so often and not I had surgery to fix it -was in the hospital for a week and now I have been healthy since. He even accused my husband of stealing his pain pills even though his dad is in early stage Alzheimer’s and can’t remember taking his meds even with someone standing there telling him he just took them. We even gave the spare key back so there was no way to enter the house and he still insisted Dennis was stealing them. Now to mention Cody was the one stealing them and selling them in the high school football locker room. How do I know this?  I woke to him several nights stealing my medications that I was taking for my stomach issues while I was sick. And several people have told me personally that he sold them in the locker room – other football kids who respect me and look up to me.

So we have just kinda been laying low, trying not to respond to their idiocy, trying not to stoop to their level. My gut told me that it would only get worse, but I hate confrontation and so I just hoped it would all eventually blow over.

Little did we know how bad it was going to get……………..to be continued.

it only takes a small spark to start a wildfire.........