You Do Not Walk This Path Alone My FriendsMay 3, 2013 - Author: Ordinary Girl - Comments are closed
Why do we blog? I think each person would answer that question differently. For me it is a cathartic action, a way to organize my scattered thoughts. Sometimes it is to vent anger or sadness. But it is never to tell another what to do or judge another’s journey and always to reach out a hand to someone else. You can see I am not perfect. You can see I run the gambit of emotion from despair to joy. I don’t care if some people don’t like what they see here; it is honest, it is the truth of the moment and it is OKAY for us to feel that way. The choice of what we do with it and whether we continue to wallow in it makes the difference.
Why is it that grief over emotions or hurt feelings doesn’t engender the same compassion as grief over a loss or death? There is a loss, a broken relationship, the death of a dream, a hope unrealized; something made us feel that way. After all, who are we to decide what someone should be grieved over? Who are we to tell them not to feel the way they do? Do you know personally the baggage that created the hurt that they are “reacting badly to”
or are you pushing your own timeline and life filters on them? Just because you aren’t deathly afraid of heights doesn’t mean you should ridicule or tell a person who is to “just get over it”. If you wouldn’t do it then or want it done to you, why would you do it because someone is feeling low; why would you do it to yourself when you are down?
We all have our beautiful moments and we all have our “not so shiny” moments. It is a continuous process and just because you fell down yesterday, doesn’t mean tomorrow is a bust. However we do need to open our minds to the possibility that we might be doing something wrong, we may need to adjust our approach.
Parenting of any kind (step or blood) is one of those things that we are going to mess up occasionally. Do you think you are going to scar your kids for life if you make a mistake? Probably not, but you darn sure will mess up if you never try a new way or keep continuing in an unsuccessful cycle. I know that I have had to make allowances and changes for my step-kids, for each of my own kids due to their personalities or outside circumstances. Why oh why do we offer these things to others and deny them to ourselves?
We are always our own worst critics. Look at that study they just did where they had women describe themselves to a professional police sketch artist and then they had a stranger describe the same women to the sketch artist. Overwhelmingly the viewpoint we hold of ourselves is more critical and less beautiful than others see us. We magnify our flaws and don’t play up our strengths. If others see them and we do not, perhaps we need to change our point of view….
Quit raking yourself over the coals and allow these feelings both good and bad to wash over and through you. Allow yourself to experience them, but stop wallowing in them. Denying them does just as much harm as the wallowing does. If you ignore them they fester and grow, trust me – I’m a fungus expert 😉 ~ I have learned over time to shovel all the crap out or at some point it will all start oozing through the cracks whether you like it or not.
Find a safe place to talk. I know it is hard. Too many people take advantage of our moments of weakness, we sometimes trust our hearts and secrets to the wrong people; don’t let that make you shut yourself off. Hang in there, we are out there…..people who admit we aren’t perfect, who can be gentle with others and their pain and who need others to do the same. Hang in there my friends, you do not walk this path alone.
Until next time, stay safe and be blessed.